I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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