I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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