I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
