I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
