$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
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I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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