i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize