Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
