My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
