It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
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i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
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He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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