If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
