i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Someone signed my nipple.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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