i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
