My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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