i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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