There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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