How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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