you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
