He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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