then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
