Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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