so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just got carded by a ten year old.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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