Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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