capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
