Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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