bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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