Fuck appropriateness.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
