I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
