3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
