He is an equal opportunity slut.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
