i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
