Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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