i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
