3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
