so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize