All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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