can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
