That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
