he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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