what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
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I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
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I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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