fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
