what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
