Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
