Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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