I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
