just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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