Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
