ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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