I hate your face
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
