We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
whose parrot is this?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
