how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
