Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
