I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
