omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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