My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize