no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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