Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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