She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize