can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize