Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
