Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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