I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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